I TOTALLY AGREE with what everyone else said to you.
That is disgraceful that your husbands Mother will NOT assist even a little with the care of her son. In my opinion she should be there to help you out and care for him. Of course not 24/7 - but a day or 2 a week.
I have learned from being a full time care-giver for 4 years that there are just some things that need to slide. I am SURE your house is NOT dirty - that you take care of what needs to be done (maybe not as quickly as you used to) - but there is so much ADDED responsibility - and you no longer have your husband who is able to assist with these kind of things - you are only HUMAN - and you can only do so much.
At times the disarray of my house will drive me CRAZY - but most the time I figure it is what it is. The bedsheets are clean for my Mother - she always has her meals and clean dishes to eat them off of - she always has clean clothes to change into. So what if my house is 1 BIG PILE OF CLUTTER - and after 4 years of NOT keeping up with the "clutter" aspect of the housework - it is amazing the CLUTTER that I have.
But caring full time for a person - or two people - working - cooking - dishes - changing - feeding - laundry - bathrooms - floors to mop and vacuum -paying the bills -managing care - etc HELLOOOOOOOOO - Has your MIL every tried to handle ALL that at one time -
Let me tell you PRIOR to being a f/t care-giver - I was a Vice President for one of the largest sub-prime mortgage company's in the country. I was BUSY BUSY BUSY and work was VERY VERY stressful - but let me tell you - it was a WALK IN THE PARK - compared to care-giving. Its an ENTIRE different ballgame. Care-giving for someone who is ill - CANNOT be compared to raising a child or working a high profile job. It is just physically and mentally exhausting - with NO PAYCHECK - long hours (24/7) - no vacation time and no benefits. There is no time to socialize with co-workers or other "parents" you meet while taking care of your children. You are cut off from the outside world - pretty much and life revolves around what goes on at the house and what goes on at the Doctor's.
You care for the person because you love them - and want what is BEST for them. But in my opinion it is the HARDEST job that exists - period the end.
Hugs to you - and to heck with them all - as someone said - if you don't like the way I do it - then do it for me!!!!!!