You have your hands full and are most likely spending every waking moment taking care of your husband.
That is where your priorities have to be at this time. There is a season for everything in life.
You do not have to apologize to ANYONE. You are doing what is right and has to be done.
I am shocked at how insensitive people can be. Cannot they actually SEE what you have to deal with? They see your house, how can they be blind to the tragedy of your dear husband's problems.
I take care of my husband also. He has devastating medical problems. He is not as terribly ill as your husband, but he does go through long periods of time when he is totally incapacitated, and I have to do everything for him. He is also hospitalized frequently.
During those times, I could care less about how the house looks. I do what I can, and the rest just has to wait for better times. I am far too busy trying to keep him alive, and frankly I am exhausted.
Do whatever you have to do when you have to do it. The rest can wait.