So Hard

Hi Everyone:

 

My 95 year old mother ended up in the hospital over the Memorial Day weekend. She is not doing well. They are talking hospice as her heart is failing… I am not up to this at all! I feel bad for wasting so many years not appreciating her as I should have. I was so silly letting anger and negativity control my way of thinking. It was me that did not see or appreciate the many good things and sacrifices that she has made for her family.

 

I have to say that I did not listen to my heart. I was so into being a victim that I didn’t stop and think about empowerment or trusting myself. And the funny thing is that being a victim is so very hurtful to others!!! I am so sorry and I am in so much pain. I know everybody in the world goes through this. We all lose our mothers and our fathers. I will quit beating myself up NOW! Thank you all for listening…

 

Love and Hugs, Glenda

Original Post

Hello Glenda,

Sending lots of loving hugs your way...I am sorry to hear about your mom. Fortunately, you have renewed your relationship and have been having wonderful healing time with her. In the span of a lifetime... with the soul living on forever, the time you feel was lost was so minute...in the bigger scope.

 

Your mom knows your love and care. You had been through so much with your father and your siblings. You needed time to heal and be able to make a choice to flow in the direction as you did. I know she understands... and so you are both affording each other a very special gift at this time as she prepares to transition.

 

It's easy to say let go of the past.. be present in the moment... but I know you are doing this and this is the most important choice you can make at this time.

 

You are in my thoughts and prayers, as is your mom. You are an incredible gift

for her at this time...

 

love, light and blessings

gail

 

 

 

Dear Gail:

 

Thank you so much for your comforting words Gail. And you are so right! I just wish I had more time with her - there is so much left to say and this is not the time to burden her with my guilt or last-minute attempts to make things right. She will be going to Hospice House tomorrow. 

 

You always know the right things to say and the support that I have received here has been invaluable to me. It is just so deja-vu to be back in this situation. I am just trying to keep my strength up while everything seems to fall apart around me. Your comfort means everything to me. Thank You my friend!

 

Love and Hugs, Glenda

Dearest Glenda...

 

the truth is that even though your mom will be entering hospice there is still enough time to share and right what your guilty thoughts are... she has already forgiven you... and so has the higher power... you were doing the best that you could all along and now you are with her unconditionally... what more could some one offer to another?

 

This past year you have righted your wrongs and have been there for her as she for you. Glenda, if this was another caregiver you were supporting, you would remind them that we only have the present moment... your mom will be with you long after she transitions... don't ever forget we are more than these bodies.. we are spirit... learning, growing and healing in our relationships and from within ourselves.

 

I forgot to tell you that when you posted the blog www.spiritmuv.com, I went to it... I have been listening to the meditations every night as I go to sleep and while I am sleeping. Cecilia Loving's meditations are so angelic... she reminds me of Eric Butterworth's wife when she used to give them at the Unity Church... I went to the Unity Church here in Manhattan and got to meet Cecilia and will be going more often.... thank you for this divine connection.

 

Remember, Glenda, be as gentle, kind and loving to yourself as you are to your mother and other caregivers here at the site.. and as you were to your father.

 

Keep your light shining, look into the mirror and remind yourself how loving and incredible you are...

 

Celebrate in gratitude these precious moments you can share with your mom on this physical plane... don't burden yourself with the past... be fully present in your loving splendor.

 

Love, light and blessings angel

gail

Well, my mother is gone. She lasted one night at the Hospice House and passed away yesterday morning. I was at the mocha stand on my way to be with her when I got the call. I met my brother there and they had put together a nice little ceremony. I am so thankful she didn't linger... She never did mess around!

Wow Glenda... I am speechless and so sorry.... My thoughts and prayers are with you... it sounds as if her transition was easy and I pray your healing journey be gentle and nurturing. I am glad your brother met you there as well... I have tried phoning you and will attempt again.

love, blessings and light

gail

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