My MIL (77, advanced Parkinsons) moved in to our home a month ago. She was in an assisted living facility close to our home which was beautiful and clean and the nicest one we could find -- she hated it for 3 years. Was reclusive, refused to use the dining area, yada yada. Her long term care policy has run out and she couldn't afford to stay there any longer -- I wanted to find her a subsidized apartment, she begged and wore down my husband and we basically moved out of our bedroom (the only one with a master bath), moved upstairs next door to our teenagers and she is here now.
My problem is that her hygiene is bad. She refuses to hire a bath lady and says she can do it all herself, but she is not doing it. I've tried to be subtle, I'm trying to be kind to respect her dignity, but she has no sense of smell and my sniffer is working just fine. To complicate things, my husband and two teenage boys don't seem to think it's a strong smell. I thought I was going crazy until my daughter who lives out of state came in and when grandma wasn't looking held her nose and rolled her eyes. So maybe my daughter and I just have really sensitive noses -- I don't know. I just know that this is my home, and I almost want to cry everytime I walk through my first floor where she is living. I can't stand the smell (urine/b.o. smell). I'm trying to keep her room clean, I keep offering to do her laundry, change her bedding and she doesn't want me to do it more than once a week. I work part-time and have a home-based business which requires customers to come to my home for scrapbooking classes and my husband literally has to be in her room occupying her so that she will leave her door closed for the duration of my classes. She also sees nothing wrong with wearing the same pajamas for 3-4 days straight.